And I like to hear myself say
that out loud. Maybe you noticed. Let me explain why.
I am happy that, despite all rational thoughts and years of emotional self-control, I am still jealous that you're holidaying with another.
I'm happy that my brain apparently feels you're worth my getting jealous over. And I'm happy that I can smile about it because I still feel safe. I'm happy that I can give you this. I'm happy that you will be smiling your cute smile in interesting places, and that you will often be thinking of me. And I'm happy that there's someone you love, to take care of you.
I'm happy that I'm remembering what trust means.
I'm happy with the absolute certainty I have that you will be there at the end. It's that which gives me the strength for the journey. It brings joy to my steps on the path, whereas up until recently I wandered aimlessly, and lost, without even knowing it. I'm happy that you now light the way.
I'm happy that I can be there for you. I'm happy that I can begin to help you put right some of the wrongs. I'm happy that I am strong enough to meet you, and push you further than you've been alone. I'm happy that I can become your safety, your peace, and your home.
I'm happy that you are strong, but not demanding. That you are hurt, but not a victim. That you are smart, but humble. That you are intractable, but obliging.
I'm happy that you are.
I have everything I want this Christmas day, thanks to you.
Thank you.
<3
I am happy that, despite all rational thoughts and years of emotional self-control, I am still jealous that you're holidaying with another.
I'm happy that my brain apparently feels you're worth my getting jealous over. And I'm happy that I can smile about it because I still feel safe. I'm happy that I can give you this. I'm happy that you will be smiling your cute smile in interesting places, and that you will often be thinking of me. And I'm happy that there's someone you love, to take care of you.
I'm happy that I'm remembering what trust means.
I'm happy with the absolute certainty I have that you will be there at the end. It's that which gives me the strength for the journey. It brings joy to my steps on the path, whereas up until recently I wandered aimlessly, and lost, without even knowing it. I'm happy that you now light the way.
I'm happy that I can be there for you. I'm happy that I can begin to help you put right some of the wrongs. I'm happy that I am strong enough to meet you, and push you further than you've been alone. I'm happy that I can become your safety, your peace, and your home.
I'm happy that you are strong, but not demanding. That you are hurt, but not a victim. That you are smart, but humble. That you are intractable, but obliging.
I'm happy that you are.
I have everything I want this Christmas day, thanks to you.
Thank you.
<3
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